I lost a baby, not my mind.

I lost a baby, not my mind. You ask am I ok, makes you sound dumb. It was my child that I'll never get to hold...would you be ok if your child died? Things will get better, life will go on, I'll probably have another baby, but it won't be this one. I'm not mad at God, I'm not mad at all, just broken hearted, sad to the core. I'm gonna cry, theres no stopping tears. Don't think you have to say something, just don't be weird. It is enough to say you love me and I'm in your prayers. I lost a baby, not my mind.

Adopted

But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God. (Galatians 4:4-7 NASB) I have been pondering the thought of being adopted into Christs family...I have this picture in my mind of happily ever after. Taken out of a bad situation, given love and acceptance, being part of a family. I know that adoption is a great thing, I also know that it is hard. I feel it inside me, the desire to cling to what I know, to be miserable, but comfortable. I want to let go of my sin, to flee from the devil and cling to my new father, but it is difficult. I find myself in this place, where I know what is right. I study the Word, memorize it, meditate on it, but still can't apply it to every area of my life. I feel connected to my "family" sometimes, but also find myself in sabotage mode...when things seem to be going in the right direction I make choices to perpetuate sin instead of flee from it. Why is it so hard to accept something you know is good for you...why does it still feel foreign...